Beignets

I was feeling somewhat nostalgic the other night and began the tedious process of cycling through pictures of the glorious few months where Maine has temperatures that are labelled "warm." During this cycle, I stumbled upon ones taken at this years Folk Festival, you know, the one on the waterfront. If you haven't been, change that this year. It's a great thing. Music, dancing, people, and, yes, food. 

One of the great things is that, with the food, there's a wonderfully gargantuan variety. You have the barbecue, the brick-over pizza, the typical American stuff. But then you get to branch out into other things, like Greek, Korean, and Cajun. And that's where the fun is.

The Cajun food tent/structure/kiosk serves traditional Cajun food. If you've been to Louisiana, you've probably had it. There's the chicken and rice pilaf and gator, and, one of my favorites, the beignets, pronounced, as far as I can tell, "bin-yays," as in "Yay, I finally get beignets!"

A beignet is kind of a fancy dough-boy, I guess. I've never had a dough-boy, so I'm going off what friends have said. Anyway, this delightful cardiac arrest on a plate is a light, puffy pastry thing that's been deep-fried and covered in powdered sugar. That's it. Simplistically jubilant, and joyously messy.  

Everyone should try them, at least once. Even if it's just a bite. Do it. Try the beignet.

Photo by Jamo Frakes

These weren't beignets, but tacos from the Tic Tac Taco stand, along with tea from Specialtea. Oh, and a Lemon Sting hiding in there somewhere.

   

Blooming Tea

So. Did some research. Blooming tea. It's a real thing. Yep. Tea. That blooms.

From what I understand, it's the tea leaves wrapped around an actual flower. It's all rolled up into this little nutmeg like creature, that, when you add boiling water, or probably any water, blooms. The tea leaves unfold and you have the flower thing in the middle. The end result is very lotus like, although there are, apparently, several different styles of blooms, like lotus or sunflower or, you know, other...blooms... It would seem that the flowers inside the tea bundles are usually something fragrant like jasmine or marigolds.

Teavana, my go-to tea site, is only offering one type of the blooming tea. I'm not sure if this means it's a relatively new thing, or if blooming tea isn't that popular. I only heard about it when my grandmother sent me a variety pack. Honestly, I've been too scared to try the suckers, being the somewhat snobbish tea-hog that I am.

If you want to check out blooming tea for yourself, Teavivre has a fairly solid page on them. Or, you know, google-magic.

TEA

I know I said no more tea, at some point, maybe... I lied. I've recently heard about "flowering teas." I'm not entirely sure how fascinating this may or may not be, but I'm going to find out, and report back. From what I've heard it's tea that blooms.

That's right, blooms.

Again, not much research done on this subject, but there will be an update, and the world will know.

Lesson Learned

Banana bread is a staple in any diet. Even if you're deathly allergic to bananas, which is a thing, you eat banana bread. You die, but you die happy. That's why, over the weekend, I made some. The bananas were overly ripe, there was sugar in the cupboard, and I had the kitchen to myself. So, banana bread.

Everything went well enough, no major mishaps with the flour or anything. I left it in the oven a little too long, but no burnage. It came out as a fairly decent loaf of bread. And that's when I decided to go out with a friend.

Assuming it would be safe, I pushed the loaf, now cooling on a small rack, to the back burner of the stove. It was too hot to wrap and put away, and typically, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum don't climb on the stove to eat things. Butter off the island, yes. Bread off the stove, no.

So, adventures with the friend. Fun times. The usual, except for a lack of dinner. That was okay, though, because I had that wonderfully fresh banana bread waiting for me at home. Or, had the two cretinous dogs not jimmied themselves up on the stove, that's what would've been waiting.

Two dogs, one loaf. The whole thing gone. Not even a crumb.

Lesson learned, I guess. Don't leave banana bread, or bread, or any food you've been craving, on the stove, because the dogs will seek and destroy that glorious work of digestible art.

Photo by J.Cust

Still feelings lazy. But, this time, it's something helpful. Or, I guess, I thought it was helpful.

Thanks to @wearPACT for sorting through the PLU code jungle and putting this colorful, easy-to-read graphic on the interwebs.

I'm feeling incredibly lazy, and haven't tackled any remotely interesting food related obstacles lately. So look at the pretty pictures.

This is another unfortunate case where I can't find photo or blog credits, but, let's face it, this is awesome and needs to be shared. So, if anyone stumbles aimlessly upon this and happens to know who did these wonderful little creatures, they should drop a line so legalese and credits can be cleared and given, respectively.

So...

So, this has almost nothing to do with making food.

That's a lie. It has absolutely nothing to do with making food.

Thanks to youtuber Mister Epic Man for this... intersting? video.

Yep.

I might try this. Or just some crepes, because, if you'll look at the end picture, it doesn't look terribly appetizing. Meat-like, actually. But crepes...

Unfortunately, I can't find any trace of Skwidle on the internet, but this was posted on the wonderful site I Waste So Much Time. If the enigma that is Skwidle sees this, they should make contact, so I can confer that use of the delightful image is okay.

Seems Legit

I was stuffing myself with peanut-butter pie earlier and came to the conclusion that, at this point in time, it's a miracle I'm not a four-hundred pound behemoth, who can only be transported throughout the world via crane.

Maybe that's what will happen when my metabolism really decides to crash.

But, seriously, if you look at what I've been eating... If it's not the actual cake or dish itself, it's the pan scrapings. And let me tell you, if you're skipping on scraping every little but of batter or crust left in a pan, you're missing the best part. There's something about fighting the spatula to conform to the sides of a bowl that make things like cookie dough taste better than just fishing out some of the raw stuff with a spoon.

I need some salad. Excuse me.

I Caved

Easter, at our house at least, involves Italian food. This is great. Who doesn't love lasagna, especially when you've hand rolled the pasta, made the bechamel, grated the cheese, and made the meat sauce? 

Yeah. There was meat involved. Pork, specifically. Which, a few months ago, would've been fine. At that point no creature was off limits. Now, not so much. Saying I was torn between sticking to the "poultry-only" rule and the "it's hand-made lasagna" thing is an understatement. I stayed up for two nights debating whether to eat, or not to eat.

Well, not really. Let's face it. Lasagna.

Pasta. Photo by J.Cust

Meat sauce. Photo by J.Cust

Bechamel. Photo by J.Cust

Parmigiano reggiano. Photo by J.Cust

Repeat. Photo by J.Cust

Exactly. Photo by J.Cust

The Ice Cream Base from Heaven

I prefer making sweet things. Cakes, cupcakes, cookies, and, when I'm feeling really indulgent, ice cream. But you can't have a good peanut-butter banana or brown-sugar ice cream without a solid base. And that's where Ben & Jerry come in, with their wonderful book.

This is my ice-cream base bible. They have great recipes, too, but ice cream is something you can get creative with, so it's a rare occasion that I follow the actual recipes. I would advise you to do the same, once you're comfortable enough with it.

Anyway, here's the base that I swear by:

• 2 large Eggs
• 1/2 cup Sugar
• 2 cups Heavy Cream
• 1 cup Milk

First, you want to whisk those eggs until they're pale and fluffy and gorgeous. Then, slowly whisk in the sugar. You'll end up with this decadently pale and creamy concoction. Then, whisk in the cream and milk, carefully, so as not to splash this glorious soup all over your prep area.

That's it. That's the ice cream base. No cooking necessary. I mean, you might have to cook or melt the things you decide to add to it, but the base couldn't be any simpler.

Try it. Please. Just make sure you have room in your freezer and ice cream maker or large tub that fits in your freezer, and don't mind running an extra mile or two of five to work off the incredibly bad for you ice cream you'll never stop eating.

The Whatever's in the Fridge Stir-Fry

It would seem that impromptu dinners are becoming a thing now that I'm spending less time at home, and more time gallivanting about with friends and such. Nothing wrong with any of these things, unless you're confronted with making dinner and have absolutely no time to plan or grocery shop. Which actually isn't that bad, when you've got Mother Superior's wok, or really just a large skillet, and some imagination.

For this round of Whatever's in the Fridge Stir-Fry, I used:

• 3 raw Chicken Breasts, sliced into disc-like pieces and seasoned with salt and pepper
• 2 Red Bell Peppers, cut into squares
• 1 small Broccoli head, cut into florets
• 1 Carrot, but use more if you can, julienned
• Jasmine Rice

This was the base for the stir fry. Basically, after everything is cut up, throw all the veggies into the wok with some very hot (temperature wise) peanut oil. When the bell pepper chunks are tender and the broccoli loses that raw taste, dump the veggies into a dish and add more oil to the wok, and then the chicken, in a single layer. This way it all cooks nice and evenly. When the chicken is done, dump it in the dish with the veggies, and take a trip to flavor town.

To get to flavor town, you'll need:

• 4 Scallions, the whites chopped and greens sliced
• 3 Garlic cloves, sliced
• 2 tablespoons Ginger, peeled and chopped

When your chicken and veggies are done, hit the wok with more oil and throw this stuff, excluding the scallion greens, in there, stirring it like a mad man until it's fragrant. Then throw the chicken and veggies back in and take a side-trip on your trip to flavor town.

For the side-trip, you'll need:

• 6 tablespoons Oyster Sauce
• 6 tablespoons Soy Sauce
• 4 tablespoons Rice Vinegar 

Whisk all those together to make a lovely little sauce, which you'll throw in with your chicken and veggies and original flavor town subjects. Work this all together in your wok until the sauce is thickened. And easy way to tell it's done thickening is when it starts bubbling/boiling in the bottom of the pan. That's as thick as it'll get right there. Then just toss this back in the dish, or a serving vessel, and plate it over the jasmine rice that was mentioned earlier. If you're feeling fancy, garnish with the scallion greens and eat it with chopsticks. Just because.

Impromptu Cupcakes for Dire Situations

Saint Patrick's Day. Not my favorite holiday, because it means corned beef and cabbage at Mother Superior's table. And, this year, the addition of a boyfriend meeting Father Superior. I'm still not clear on how this came together, or why I thought cupcakes would diffuse the situation. But that's not important here. The fact that these were hands down the prettiest, most feminine cupcakes that've ever come out of this kitchen is important.

For the cupcake, I used the same cake recipe from the previous post, except I substituted white sugar for the light brown for a lighter, sweeter flavor. I also nixed the cinnamon and other spices. I didn't want those flavors competing with the topping.

Before. Photo by J.Cust

After. Photo by J.Cust

Now, I'm going to apologize in advance for this vague recipe. I was in "Cocaine Driven Martha Stewart" mode and just wanted to crank something out in the short time I had before worlds crashed together. Just bear with me, okay?

For this impromptu topping, I think I used:

• About 2 cups Frozen Raspberries
• 1/2 a Lemon's worth of juice 
• Possibly 3 tablespoons White Sugar  
• Water
• 1 teaspoon Unflavored Gelatin
• Heavy Cream

In a medium saucepan, I threw together the raspberries, lemon juice, sugar, and a splash of water to keep it loose. Then, on medium-low heat, I mashed it all together with a whisk. Keep whisking this stuff until it turns into a seedy syrup. Take it off the heat and pour it through a strainer. You can either wait for it to drip through by itself, or whisk it some more, until all that's left in the strainer are the raspberry seeds. In your bowl you'll have a very simple raspberry syrup. At this point, sprinkle your gelatin over your syrup and let it set up for... I think I did ten minutes before stirring it up. Read the directions on your gelatin packet, to be safe, though.

This... Photo by J.Cust

...turns into this. Photo by J.Cust

While the gelatin is doing whatever it does, start whipping your cream. You can add a little sugar if you want, but the tartness of this mousse/topping/frosting really compliments the cake. Anyway, whip the cream until it's fairly stiff, and then start folding your gelatin-syrup mixture in. I did it in three additions, and then, with a chilled attachment, whipped it all together with the stand mixer to get it stiff enough to pipe. You don't want butter, mind, just a really thick whipped cream/mousse thing. Eventually, you can have something life the following, that hasn't be mashed by unceremonious saran-wrapping.

Sorry... Photo by J.Cust

For... Photo by J.Cust

The... Photo by J.Cust

Lighting. And the fact that this one was partially squished
by some saran wrap. Photo by J.Cust

How to Make Your SO an Apologetic "Ditched You on Your Birthday" Cake

It was my boyfriend’s birthday a few weeks ago, and I forgot. No. Not forgot. Forgot and blew off. The next day, upon realizing what I’d done, I took action, in the form of a cake no one can deny. Seriously, I’ve never had a person turn this masterpiece down. Ever.

Anyway, for the cake, you’ll need:

• 1 ¾ cups All Purpose Flour
• 1 ¾ cups Light Brown Sugar, packed
• ¾ cups Cocoa Powder, preferably Ghirardelli
• 2 teaspoons Baking Soda
• 1 teaspoon Baking Poweder
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 2 Large Eggs
• 1 cup Strong, Freshly Brewed Coffee, chilled
• 1 cup Buttermilk
• ½ cup Vegetable Oil
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla extract

Seeing as this was just for my boyfriend and not a crowd, I opted for a small springform pan, and a few cupcakes to appease some slightly jealous parents. With the springform, like all cake pans, I buttered that sucker, then lined the bottom with parchment paper, buttered that, and dusted the whole thing with flour. Just to be safe.

Photo by J.Cust

And the easiest way to chill the coffee is pouring it into a small metal bowl and placing that into a larger metal bowl full of ice and water. The metal conducts the cold better, and the coffee will be nice and cool, so there isn’t any egg-scrambling later in the process.

Photo by J.Cust

Preheat the oven to 350, too, while you’re at it.

At this point, combine the AP flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. If you want, sift everything but the sugar together to eliminate lumps and get a head start on the combining process. Then work the brown sugar in with your hands, to keep the lumps out. It’ll be kind of grainy and wonderful.

Photo by J.Cust

When you’re dry ingredients are combined, add the eggs, coffee, buttermilk, oil, and at least one teaspoon of vanilla. I usually end up adding a bit more. This is also where you can get creative with spices. I always add a solid dash or two or three of cinnamon, and occasionally some freshly grated nutmeg or some powdered ginger. This time I stuck with the cinnamon and nutmeg, but seriously, play with it.

Photo by J.Cust

When this is all mixed together, it’ll be very thin and smooth, like a really thick, dark chocolate milk. This does not mean you can drink it straight. Bake it first, people. And the timing for this will vary. For cupcakes, and with our stove, it’s an even twenty minutes. Depending on the size and depth of the pan and oven you use, the time will be different, so set reminders and trust your nose. And toothpicks. I think I’ve said it before, but a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake will come out spotless if the cake is done.

Photo by J.Cust

Anyway, while it’s baking, you can work on the frosting.

I went with a terribly simple peanut butter frosting in this case:

• 2 cups Creamy Peanut Butter
• 2 sticks Unsalted Butter, room temperature
• 1 cup Powdered Sugar
• Vanilla Extract
• Milk

Here, you’ll want to cream the butter and peanut butter together until it looks like a paler version of peanut butter. Then add the powdered sugar so it holds up, vanilla extract to taste, and a little milk so it’ll spread and pipe nicely.

Photo by J.Cust

Then, you know, when your cake is done, let it cool, trim it up, and frost and pipe to your heart’s content. And then give it to your scorned lover and hope they’ll accept it’s chocolaty decadence as an apology.

Cut it up, level it out, eat the scraps. Photo by J.Cust

The bottom layer. Photo by J.Cust

The bottom layer with frosting. Photo by J.Cust

All the layers, with frosting everywhere. Photo by J.Cust

Moved to a plate begrudgingly and decorated with the
worst piping I've ever let out of the kitchen. Photo by J.Cust 

PIIIIIIIPING. Photo by J.Cust

Thank You, So Very Much

While trolling around to find the food shelf life image from the previous post, I had the opportunity to poke around visual.ly. While meandering about, I stumbled upon their food tab, which opened up an astounding slew of various graphics relating to food.

Some featured the "beef" lasagna debacle, other pie charts on pie. A few appeared to be in foreign languages, but other than that, all the graphics were very accessible. So, in other words, if you're bored and want to giggle at creative graphs and charts about food, visit the food portion of the site.

Do it. Do it now.

Trollololol

This could be helpful. Maybe. Thanks to visual.ly and Lindsay Snow Osborn. For a larger version of the image, click here.

That's Enough Internet for Today...

I'm not sure if this horrifies, sickens, or delights my childish instincts...

Thanks to themetapicture.com for this monstrosity. 

How to Properly Mail Your Friend a Cake

What you'll need:

• 1-1/2 Cups All Purpose Flour
• 1 Teaspoon Baking Powder
• 1/4 Teaspoon Salt
• 1/2 a Lemon's Worth of Zest, if you so desire
• 1 to 1-1/2 Cups Fresh or Frozen Blueberries
• 1/2 Cup or 1 Stick Butter
• 3/4 Cup Granulated Sugar
• 2 Large Eggs
• 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
• 1/2 Cup Milk

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F, with a rack in the center.

Before you start anything else, find a pan. Since I was mailing this, a completely optional step, I used a loaf pan somewhere around 9"x5"x3". When you've found you desired pan, butter and then flour said pan. This guarantees a clean break-up. Your pan should eventually look like this:

Buttered, floured loaf pan. Photo by J.Cust

Now you can start baking. 

In a medium bowl, combine the AP flour, baking powder, and salt. Some people advise setting aside a tablespoon of this mixture to coat the berries so they don't sink while baking. It's an extra step I've never done, because I've never had berries sink. Either way works.

AP, BP, and salt. Photo by J.Cust

Melt your butter. Most people go for room temp butter, but it's easier, with this recipe at least, just to melt the whole stick. 

In a large bowl, whisk together the melted butter and sugar. Then beat in your eggs, one at a time, and the vanilla. You can also add your lemon zest at this point.

Butter sugar, before beating in eggs and vanilla. Photo by J.Cust

Butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Photo by J.Cust

Now add you flour mixture and milk in batches. Flour, milk, flour, milk, flour. Make sure you mix well between each addition. At times, the batter will look...questionable... but never fear, it's part of the process.

Flour. Photo by J.Cust

Milk. Photo by J.Cust

All together! Photo by J.Cust

Now loose the whisk, and grab a spatula. This is where you want to be gentle, and fold in your blueberries. Those glorious, glorious berries. 

Frozen berries. Photo by J.Cust

Frozen berries on the batter. Photo by J.Cust

Frozen berries in the batter. Photo by J.Cust

Scrape your batter in the pan. Level it out, either with the spatula or by banging the pan on the counter a few times. The banging method has the added benefit of getting out any air bubbles, although this is a pretty thick batter where air bubbles don't have that much of an influence. 

In the pan we go. Photo by J.Cust

Pop that sucker in the oven for 50 to 60 minutes and bake until the cake is golden brown, and the toothpick you insert into the middle comes out clean. This is where it helps to know your oven. You might have to go over or under the time, so just keep your nose and eye on the cake. 

Halfway through the baking process. Photo by J.Cust

Baked and ready to come out. Photo by J.Cust

Out of the pan and gorgeous. Photo by J.Cust

TELL ME I'M PRETTY. Photo by J.Cust

Tea Time Four

Don't got forth. Do. Not. Go. Forth.

Something has been forgotten, which is the only reason I'm going back on that whole "last tea post for a while" idea I had floating about.

Sweeteners and other additives.

Now, some people may enjoy their tea straight, like black coffee. That's perfectly okay. Some teas need to stand alone to be enjoyed properly. But others do benefit from a little sugar or maybe some cream.

In the case of sweeteners, it really depends on your taste. Some people like really sweet tea, others may just want a little something to take the edge (not that there's usually a big edge) off. You can use brown sugar or cane sugar or artificial or whatever sugar you want, really. If I go the sugar route, I usually stick with the common white sugar, found in just about every supermarket. Sometimes, if it's a tea with a heavier flavor, I'll go with a light brown sugar. Again, dealer's choice. Which also means that dealer can choose honey. I swear I'll leave honey at that, because the topic of honey could go on forever. Just like tea...

In the case of other additives, it depends more on the tea. Floral teas, like jasmine or green, don't need anything. Seriously. Sugar or honey only. Chai, black, breakfast, those are the teas that have enough body to stand up to some cream. Not creamers. Cream. Go to England and they'll school you on this. I'm going to contain myself and make a sandwich or something.

Tea Time Three

I'm almost somewhat positive this will be that last post about tea for a while. Maybe. I don't know, because, let's face it, tea is wonderful and can be discussed at length with varying degrees of success.

Anyway, tea is hard to enjoy without the proper equipment, the most basic being a nice mug. I'm talking some heavy duty drink-ware right here. One that'll retain heat, but wont set your flesh on fire when you grab it. A handle that fits your hand, or, better yet, a mug with recessed handles, like this one. Something with a wide base, because humans can be a little clumsy and wasted tea is a dreadful thing. And a mug that flows with your style. Trust me on this one. No questions.

Once you have that oh-so-perfect mug, move on to a water-heating device. If you don't want to spend money on a kettle, use a small sauce pan to boil up some water. If you don't have a saucepan, get one, because they're important for life. Or, if you have a microwave, find a microwave safe mug or dish or bowl or whatever will hold water and take the cheap road out. There's something about microwaving tea water that isn't...right...

And then you'll need a vehicle to steep the tea in. There are tea balls, quirky, punny infusers, french presses, and a slew of other things to help in the tea brewing process. You really don't need to be that picky, unless you have a loose leaf that's fine in the texture department, like rooibos. I've had that slip through my tea ball and leave lovely sticks throughout. Not the worst thing, but not the best either.  

Go forth, my children, and enjoy.

Tea Time Two

A couple of things. First, I'm on a tea bender. But not really a bender, because tea is kind of an every day thing for me, instead of just a 'bender.' Maybe 'addiction' is a better term. Second, some people are stuck in a sad whole where they only experience the slightly depressing sachets of practically powdered tea.

That does not mean every boxed or bagged tea is bad. Some of them are actually pretty good, quality wise. An easy way to tell is the texture of whatever is lurking inside the sachet. If it's a chunkier creation, where you can actually see separate leaves or spices, you're golden. However, the finer the contents, the poorer the tea. If you're in a pinch and just trying to get a caffeine fix in for the day, sure, use that sad tea. But if you're looking for a more enjoyable experience, find a that has some texture. Or, better yet, go loose leaf.

You can find loose leaf at a lot of stores, but if you want LOOSE LEAF, instead of just, you know, loose leaf, try a local co-op or natural living center, or even sites like Teavana. Places like these offer organic, fair trade, loose leaf teas that play delightfully on one's pallet. You can also pick up the necessary equipment for your loose leaf, if you aren't already and avid user.  

More on that later, because right now, sleep.

Tea

I would die without tea. I realize I made smoothies sound like the end all earlier, but seriously, tea is where it's at. Need some caffeine? Tea. Don't want coffee breath? Tea. Want to impress that guy in the cubicle next to yours with some really herbal, zen mannerism? Tea. No joke, you'll turn into an exotic enigma, possibly laden with an ironic beard. 

Take that, cubicle guy.

Anyway, one of the best teas I've come across is a gunpowder green. This variety of green tea leaf is rolled so that, believe it or not, it looks like gunpowder. Following that theme, the flavor is slightly smoky, too, and one of the stronger varieties of green. It's a great punch in the winter morning. I haven't tried it yet, but it'd probably be nice iced, sitting on a porch at dusk, watching sparrows flit back and forth and listening to crickets chirrup in the long grass. 

Or something like that, you know, whatever floats your tea boat.

Thanks to 123rf.com for the obscure, royalty free image of gunpowder green tea

Smoothies Are My Best Friend

You cannot go wrong with a smoothie. Ever. It's creamy and fruity and you can hide good-for-you things in them and no one will ever be the wiser, unless, for some reason, you let slip that you put whey protein in when they weren't looking. Don't do that, though. Seriously. Just put things in and serve that smoothie up and grin when they can't quite place everything residing in the frozen delicacy. 

There are even cheat sheets to make these heavenly creatures, even though, let's face it, they're pretty hard to mess up. 

 

Thanks to superskinnyme.com for this joyous graphic.